Having my own children someday has both been exciting and terrifying to think about. Exciting for the obvious reasons, but terrifying because I knew that one day, I’d have to inevitably expose them to my whole family….a family that I’ve never felt quite apart of.
I’m sure you’ve all heard by my instagram that we’re PREGO with our rainbow baby! It seems like everyone’s is posting the same type of news right now huh? Clearly all of us were all bored during the summer months while we were soaking up the a/c LOL. Truth be told, the hubs and I were not trying whatsoever (and please don’t tell me that annoying line of ..it happens when you’re not trying). I was so sick of trying for a baby after the miscarriage, frustrated with work, AND about to move across the country. A baby in that time frame was close to the last thing on my mind, right next to getting my wax. Little did I know that the altitude sickness we thought I had upon moving here turned out to be morning sickness.
Our lives were forever changed when we met our little Gracie from a rescue. Although she was the very first puppy we ever considered, she wasn’t the first puppy we “interviewed.” After meeting a few crazy, young breeds of puppies, and not not feeling 100% confident, little Gracie was carried out to us. She calmly walked over to me, stared into my eyes, and then crawled into my arms for a hug. Without hesitation, I knew in my gut that this little pup was special and I wasn’t leaving the shelter without her.
Happy New Year everyone! 2016 was a year of super highs and lows. From planning a wedding, getting married, changing roles at work, diagnosed with severe food sensitivities, and having a miscarriage, this year has been incredibly stressful. However, I’m (semi) grateful for all of the “bumps” in the road that I’ve dealt with. As much as it has taken a toll on me, it’s made me into a stronger person. At least I’m telling myself that….
If you’ve experienced a miscarriage like I have, you’ve realized that there’s not an instruction manual or any sort of normal recovery to base your expectations on. With every pregnancy being different, so are all of women’s bodies. It’s important to make yourself aware that researching groups online or asking around won’t speed up the recovery process, it will only speed up anxiety and decrease your patience.
September 9th: After a restless night of tossing and turning, I woke up early in the morning for my Tacfit class feeling super dizzy. Holy crap, just walking to the gym felt like the world was moving. Even getting to work, my mind was just stuck in vertigo, almost like a fog. This continued on for two more days until I took another pregnancy test on 09/11. Since I just took a negative test 10 days after ovulation (September 5th), there’s no effing way this could be positive. Plus, I had to restock up on EPTs anyways, so using one of them wasn’t a big deal. I stopped by the Target on State before work and went into the bathroom. Sure as shit, the sign on the little stick was positive.
This used to be my motto during college up until I met my hubby on my 25th birthday. However, now that I’ve been suffering some weird ass wave of insomnia, I regret ever letting those words fly out of my mouth. For the past 2.5 weeks, I’ve slept like garbage. Tossing and turning, waking up multiple times in the night, hearing every little sound in our apartment, it’s horrible. I’m SO exhausted yet, I still can’t fall asleep. Instead of blaming the usual scapegoat (stress), I’ve turned to more natural ways to help me fall asleep.